"When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me?" Psalm 56:3-4, (NASB). Cross references: Psalm 56:3 : Ps 55:4, 5 Psalm 56:3 : Ps 11:1 Psalm 56:4 : Ps 56:10, 11 Psalm 56:4 : Ps 118:6; Heb 13:6

Unpredictable…a word I despise. I’m more of a consistent, expected, reliable kind of girl. But unpredictable is where I find myself these days and I’m slowly becoming accustomed to it’s jagged edges and unexpected crevices.

I’m 24 weeks pregnant with identical twin girls (Sawyer & Scout). From the very first doctor’s appointment after we found out the news, they told us this pregnancy would be different and unpredictable. To a certain degree I brushed that remark aside. God hadn’t brought us through everything we have been through to bring us more hardship. I was certain of that.

Part of a mo/di identical twin pregnancy is getting referred to a maternal fetal medicine specialist (MFM). Since we live in Auburn, at 17 weeks we made out way to UAB in Birmingham to meet with the MFM. Everything went great. He informed us that both girls had marginal cord insertion (their umbilical cords were connected to the edges of the placenta instead of the center), but otherwise looked healthy. He wanted to check us again two weeks later to do our anatomy scan. Once again, the girls passed with flying colors. Two weeks later I made my way back to UAB (alone this time) for what was supposed to be the appointment that would release me back to Auburn for the remainder of my pregnancy. And that is where unpredictable hit us square in the face.

Things began going south when my blood pressure and heart rate spiked due to the way the girls were laying and the general weight and pressure against the blood vessel in my back. I told them to give me a few minutes and I’d feel good enough to finish the scan. The doctor informed me he was going to make me come back next week regardless, because the girls were showing signs of borderline twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS).

This is the diagnosis you DO NOT want to hear. Basically, it means that one twin is getting more blood than the other causing their amniotic fluid levels to be off and can lead to a lot of complications and possibly their passing. The treatments are scary and unpredictable in terms of results. I knew all of this, because in the world of strange, I happen to have two friends who within the last year got pregnant with identical twin girls and yet never got to take their sweet girls home with them. This whole pregnancy they have both weighed heavily on my heart and to say this whole experience is surreal and bittersweet is an understatement. But there I am hearing the words TTTS and talk about drawing excess fluid off Baby B (Scout) and mention of traveling to Cincinnati for surgery. It was a lot! My doctor back in Auburn confirmed that yes the MFM had declared it an inevitable case of TTTS. I was to go back the following Monday to check the girls fluid levels and discuss options.

We shared the news with a few close friends and family for prayer and headed back to Birmingham the next week scared, but trying to remain hopeful. The doctor was shocked…the girl’s fluid levels hadn’t changed. Nothing needed to be done. Return in a week they said. Last Monday we returned again, still scared but more hopeful this time, only to find out the fluid levels had improved a bit! Y’all prayer works! We go back again tomorrow for another ultrasound to check on our sweet Sawyer and Scout who are already showing us that they are two tough cookies! We remain hopeful, but realistic at what lies ahead for us, and we ask for as much prayer to surround the girls until they make their arrival. The only thing predictable about this pregnancy right now is the drive back and forth from Auburn to Birmingham, but we are growing in this season…stretching to levels we weren’t familiar with and praising God in the midst of it all.

Oh, and because we aren’t the do-things-the-boring-way kind of family, we sold our house last week. Yep, you read that right. The original plan was to purchase land and build, but then we found ourselves pregnant with twins and out of time. So much for expected! Instead, we found a house we like that can close quickly and we will be closing on both homes on June 11th. Lord help us!

And for fun….here is what 24 weeks pregnant with twins when you’re 4’11” looks like. It means you measure like you are 33 weeks pregnant!

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So with renewed hope, a good healthy dose of reality, and the strength that only walking with the Lord can give you we march on. Unpredictable…here we come!