I want to apologize for not posting for so long. As some of you know, over the last seven months not only have we been walking through our family journey, but we’ve also been building a house. We started building at the end of December before we had any idea what lay ahead for us. It is finally complete and three weeks ago tomorrow we closed on our “for a long time” home. We are in love!
On move in day.
Unfortunately, because we are the first house in the new subdivision internet has been a challenge. Our wonderful builder loaned us his hotspot for me to use for work (since I work from home), but I didn’t want to use it for personal use and take advantage of his generosity. I had to make an exception to my rule though, since yesterday was our appointment with the Fertility Specialist, Dr. Bates.
Since my levels have finally gone back to normal (!!!!!!) the doctor was able to talk to us about the next step. We had so many questions and he did a great job of trying to answer them as honestly as possible while being considerate of our emotions. He told us that it really boils down to two options; IVF or trying naturally one more time. He explained to us that we are wonderful candidates for IVF and he truly thinks it is our best option. However, he also talked to us about trying again naturally. While this was our desire, my concern was that if we had another ectopic pregnancy I wanted my remaining tube to be removed. He assured me that would in fact be the plan as he didn’t think I was a candidate for any further Methotrexate shots
I am fully aware of the fact that when i mention wanting them to remove my remaining tube it sounds harsh. And it is harsh! But I don’t apologize for feeling this way. The last seven months have been exhausting; physically, emotionally, just plain exhausting. The idea that we would have a third ectopic and they would not remove my remaining tube and we could face that risk in the future again is where I draw the line. Others faced with the same situation may choose differently and that’s okay.
We went ahead and discussed iVF with Dr. Bates. He said given our fertility this far he sees no reason why we wouldn’t have fantastic success. Our risk of another ectopic while higher for the general population is lower for us. Basically my odds of having another ectopic trying naturally at this point are between 1 in 3 up to a 50% chance. However, with IVF we drop to a 1 in 20 chance. We had researched the option of having them remove my remaining fallopian tube before starting IVF. Unfortunately if we jump straight to IVF insurance will not cover the removal of my fallopian tube. But also at the end of the day IVF is expensive. We are on the lower cost end of the scale and he told us to expect between $10-12,000 in costs for the first cycle. The good news is that he thinks he would be able to harvest enough eggs for at least one (if not more) frozen cycles and those only cost between $2-3,000. Having just signed mortgage papers though both of those figures seem pretty scary right now!
So, Daniel and I have decided to give it another go naturally. We know it is risky, but at this point we don’t feel like we have much to lose. Hopefully, we will succeed in having a healthy uterine pregnancy. If that fails and we do in fact have another ectopic then at least they’ll remove my fallopian tube and we are back to IVF with not much other than time lost. Dr. Bates was supportive of this decision and they will monitor me very closely looking for signs of an ectopic the second we find out we’re pregnant.
These are big decisions. Life changing decisions. But God continues to provide reassurance and comfort. He continues to show us the path forward and give us the confidence we need to get through the journey. And Dr. Bates is on board. He ended the appointment saying “Leave here knowing it’s not if you will get pregnant, but when and how.” Only God knows the answer to that question, but we can’t wait to find out!